Nice People are Just Selfish!

Tools of the Trade - By: David Beam
Business Coaching Article | Ten Principles of Leadership

Well, if you consider yourself a nice person, you may be a bit taken back by the title of this article. In the context of this article, what do I mean by NICE?

Let me ask you a question. If you are a parent, have you always been NICE to your children? Most parents would admit that there are times their children would not consider them NICE. We confront our children, and challenge them, and when they are young, at times have to discipline them, because we care about them. Even though they may not like us at the time of the correction, we care more about their welfare and character than we do about how they view us at the time.

Nothing Inside Cares Enough =  NICE.

If I care enough about others, I will share the open and honest truth with them to help them improve. If I am selfish, and care more about how they might perceive me, then I will not confront them.

Much too often, I coach business owners that are always NICE to their team. Perhaps they have a team member that is tardy. If the owner truly cares about that team member, the rest of the team and his customers as well as his company culture, he will set a clear rule of the game on tardiness, and then confront those who fall short - with the goal of correcting the behavior.

If, instead, the owner chooses to avoid the problem, then he or she sends a message that rules don't matter, and that the business does not care about standards and high performance. If that is the overriding culture, they will lose the high performance team members, the under performers will not improve, and the business will suffer.

So NICE doesn't get it done. I'm not saying you have to be rude or mean, but that speaking the truth in a clear and kind manner is necessary to have a high performance team. So the next time you are avoiding that conversation or confrontation, remember that NICE people are selfish!